Why some people are always sad?
Do you often find yourself stuck in negative thoughts you can’t escape from and do you feel vulnerable, weak, tired, almost depressed?
Being an adult, as we know, it’s never easy. You have a lot of things going on, from a job to focus on to bills to pay and maybe a family that relies on you. So, if sometimes you feel tired and stressed, that is normal, everyone gets sad sometimes, as it is part of being human. The problems appear when your sadness starts to become chronic, when, sometimes even without a clearly defined reason, you still feel low, apathetic and depressed.
When does sadness become a concern?
If you feel sad for more than a couple of weeks and the sadness is taking over several aspects of your life, changing your habits and behavior, you might have a problem. Chronically sad people usually:
Stop meeting with friends and family;
Are more likely to get angry;
Become emotional or cry for no reason;
Sleep less or more than they usually do;
Eat less or more than usual;
Don’t care about their physical appearance too much;
Lose interest in the things and activities they usually enjoy;
Have a lower academic or professional performance.
Please note that if these symptoms start to aggravate or persist for a longer period of time, you should consult a doctor, as they might be an indicator of depression, as a serious medical condition.
The “why” behind the frown
When you can’t associate your sadness with an event that creates you stress or with a medical condition, you should look deeper into your soul, analyze your thinking patterns and try to understand yourself better. It is time to take attitude and prevent a depressive mood.
Scientifically, it has been proven that certain factors, which are not easily identifiable, can determine a predisposition to sadness. If there is a history of depression in your family, you are likely to become depressed too. Certain hormonal changes in your body can also affect your mood. Neurotransmitter defects may also play an important role in the way you feel.
Some people can also face a difficult period in their lives, such as a trauma or a very stressful episode, that they don’t actually recover from, no matter how much time passes. This might lead them to a persistent feeling of helplessness, a thinking pattern that makes people believe they have no power over the events in their own lives. This makes them passive and think there is nothing they can do to relieve their suffering.
Once negative thoughts start to kick in, the perspective of optimism becomes less and less visible. Sad people concentrate on negative thoughts, a state that actually feeds itself, causing more negativity. According to phycologist Andrew Solomon, the opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality and resilience. That is why sad or depressed people lack the ability to shift attention away from negative information. This psychological trait is usually a direct factor that leads people to start complaining and lose motivation. From here, everything seems to go from bad to worse, as hopes of improving your life seem to significantly reduce.
What can you do to improve your mood?
According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, researcher at the University of California: “40% of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change.” The difference between feeling sad and feeling happy and fulfilled lays in the frequency and the duration of each of these states.
Even if you feel alone, you see no way out of your sadness and you have isolated yourself from all the people or activities that you used to enjoy, talk to someone you can trust. A simple conversation might bring you some insights regarding yourself and what is happening with you. You can also write down your feelings in order to logically analyze what determines them. Whatever you do, don’t stay in bed all day, trying to avoid everything and everybody.
As difficult as it may seem, there are people on this world that can be trusted. You just concentrated on what’s wrong, forgetting to look at what is right on this world and in your life, detailing the problems and their causes, without looking for the solutions. Don’t compare yourself to others, as you are not inferior or in a competition. The control over your life you might strive for would not improve the way you feel, but it can cause you more disappointments.
There is always a tomorrow that you should wait for without worry and fear. Change is not easy and sometimes it might require a strong support, but you have only one life and you deserve to make the best of it. Dare to make a first step and heal yourself.